Seriously, stress is the best diet

As a second year master’s student, this April is hell. With my master’s report hanging over my head, I basically feel like dying. The plus side is, I’m down to 178.4 lbs! I’m never hungry and I spent two hours wandering around campus trying not to cry yesterday. Terrible feeling, but apparently a decent enough workout. I had 4 bean tacos, at two separate times, yesterday. That was about it. That’s under my calorie limit, which isn’t good, but I really had to force myself to eat. My stomach is all tied in knots.

I’m glad I made it to 178.4 though. Every time I’ve tried to lose weight, I’ve gotten stuck around 179/180 and I give up. Now I know it’s possible and I can do this!

Yesterday and Breakfast

Well, I got super busy and was not able to write.

I had a chopped salad for lunch and then my husband made these calorie-heavy breakfast quesadilla for dinner.But I still didn’t go over my calorie limit because I didn’t eat that much during the day. My plan of storing up calories for the evening appears to be working.

I did Cardio X for part of my P90X lean. That workout is a bitch.But if I’m way out of breath and literally dripping with sweat, you know you got your 45 minutes worth.

I weighed in this morning at 180.1! Yay! The Vegas weight is gone.

This morning I was running late, so I once again had a piece of whole wheat bread for breakfast.

I’m having a grapefruit and some naked juice for lunch.

Breakfast

Weight: 181.4 lbs
Weight lost: 5 lbs

Well, some of that Vegas bloat is gone already!

I was running late today so I literally ate a plain piece of whole wheat bread on my way out the door.

Dinner

I had a chopped salad (200 calories) and a avocado sandwich for dinner.

I also had a piece of toast with jam on it.

I’m under my calorie limit for today, but only because of the P90x workout and walking my dog. Good day!

I’m back

Well, I went to Vegas on Thursday and was there through Sunday. It was so much fun, but that meant a ton of binge eating and a ton of binge drinking. Things got really off track.

So I’m back home now and back up to 183.5. I’m sure a lot of it is just bloating, but it’s time to get back to my weight loss journey.

I had a Naked smoothie for brunch (I woke up super late and am still pretty full from the Wolfgang Puck I chowed down on last night).

I’ve decided to try a few new things. I’ve started p90x. I’m doing the lean cycle. I tried p90x about a year ago, but I did the regular cycle. It was really hard. I never thought it made a difference because I am a crazy person with body dysmorphic disorder, but I actually lose 13 lbs and I looked really toned. And that was only half way through it. I hope doing the lean version, which is more cardio and less weights (the way I prefer to workout), so I should stick with it this time.

Another is to take photos of myself once a week. Primarily as motivation. I have the tendency to not see the difference when I do lose weight, so I just give up. Not this time. I’m hoping photos will help me. So this is me at 183.5 lbs:

Stress is the best diet

So I had the worst day at work. Probably the worst day of work for anybody in the history of man. Okay, I’m prone to hyperbole. But today fucking sucked.

I was running late to work so I was only able to grab a nutri-grain bar for breakfast.

I was forced to work through lunch and never got the chance to eat.

When I came home, I wasn’t hungry because I was upset from the day. My husband made me eat some tacos, but I was only able to finish one and half.

I really need to eat more today, but I literally feel sick to my stomach from stress.

Today sucks.

Oh yeah, somewhere in there I got to eat half a grapefruit and got bitched out for doing so. Would it be stupid to quit an internship with only a few weeks left?

Breakfast

Weight:182.3
Total weight lost: 5 lbs

I had a nutri-grain bar for breakfast. I’m so damn hungry now.

Late night snack

I always have to eat a late night snack. It’s an obsession that takes hold of my brain and I can’t stop thinking about snacking until I consume something. Normally a lot of things. I’m going to work on cutting that back to something and then maybe work on no late snacks.

So tonight instead of having about 20 cheese pizza rolls – yes, I used to do that – I went for an open-faced PBJ. One slice of whole wheat bread is better than two.

Dinner: Red Lentil Soup

I had red lentil soup for dinner tonight. It was just leftovers. I had about 2 cups, which is about 350 calories.

I didn’t get a chance to exercise today. Tuesdays are my crazy day.

Lunch

I’ve developed a new strategy for eating. Before the plan was to carefully plan out all of my meals to the exact right amount of calories. That did not work. There would be a surprise happy hour, meal out, or random treat. I would inevitably go over my caloric allowance.

The new plan is to eat very few calories in the beginning of the day to compensate for inevitable slip-up at night.

Lunch: 1 Naked Berry Blast (260 calories) and one grapefruit.

I’m at a total of about 440 calories today. Lose It says I need to eat just over 1300 calories a day to lose 2 lbs a week, so I still have quite a bit I can eat later.

I’m planning on soup for dinner, but we’ll see what happens.